While surfing the web recently, I came upon a picture that was very interesting. In this picture a young man and woman were described to have become impaired by alcohol (in itself common enough). But, the couple in their stupor were described to have had intercourse, and the male later became charged with rape. Many questions arose with this such as “how is this not mutual rape then?” or “why was the guy automatically at fault?”. It seems our culture has inspired this constant threat of males being always painted as the aggressor, and females constantly being victims. It seems that no matter how much we advance as a society; people are still stuck on the basic concept of: men=evil tyrant who oppresses others, women=dainty precious flower that needs protection.
During my years in the military, I have experienced a rise in the annual sexual assault prevention classes that seem specifically aimed at men. It’s always the same drudgery, we see a video of a male taking advantage of a drunk female, who later reports the event, and the male losses his career. It’s dull, boring, and always propagates the same stereotype that males are always going to hurt females. Once after this training was completed, I decided to stay overtime, and ask my Master Chief “what would the verdict be on a case in which both female and male were drunk, but had sex”? He deliberated on this for a few moments, however his answer was not the one I expected to hear. His response was “that is a very hard question, but remember that someone will always be at fault”. Reality is, however, not as simple as that phrase was. In life sometimes there are victims, and other times accomplices. We might not like the decisions we make at times, but they are not a reason to ruin the life of another human being.
When you discriminate against genders in a way that allows people to accuse each other for their own mistakes, you are in its core inhibiting equality. I am a major advocate for equality, in a world where everyone is viewed equally we are allowed to stand side by side in conjunction with our objectives. But, this world is not inherently designed for equality. We have had countless debates on this topic, and no matter how much we discuss the subject, it appears that a consensus can’t be reached. If the world was truly equal then events like the ones listed in this news report from Australia would not be happening.
We have to stop and think of the consequences of our actions. Should all men be treated as rapist/pedophiles/abusers? Should all women be treated as victims/underdogs/sufferer of all of men’s action? No, of course not, nobody in their right mind should be categorized in such basic terms. If the feminist of the past saw what became of the movement ( or fainting couch feminist a term I first heard from Christina H. Sommers) this day and age; I am almost certain they would turn their heads in shame. It pains me to say this because I am a true feminist. I subscribe for equality the whole way, and can’t wait for the day, where stigmas associated with gender roles are finally gone. I say this as a military working man who happily provides for his family. I would love to be a stay at home dad without facing any stigma. So what makes me a feminist? It’s the idea that one day everyone will have the same rights. This is based on the original concept of feminism which was originated during the nineteenth century and early twentieth century.
noun: the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. In those days, women certainly had a clear idea of what they were fighting for. I would have gladly supported the cause back then as well because I believe that in a truly free society we must all be equals.
Apparently after a few centuries had passed this idea became twisted into something we now call misandry.
These days we get post such as:
The trend these days appears to be misinformation, that’s the only explanation I can come up with for such blatant displays of ignorance. The women who claim to be feminist, but spill only vitriol and hatred from their mouths in an act that would rival a two-year old’s tantrum is indignant of everything that our ancestors (some of our relatives fought for women rights too) stood for. Even worse is the lack of understanding in various regards such as what being equal truly entails. If our society was designed to be equal then:
Women could walk around shirtless anywhere men can (and it’s actually already legal in some locations).
These are simply a few examples (and I’m hoping some of you readers comment more reasons why we need true feminism to once again make the headlines) of inequalities in our societies. We need to join together, set our differences aside, and actually work towards achieving these goals. The media has turned men against women, women against women, and everyone against each other. Simply because we were born with different sets of equipment we get lumped together in a pile of garbage stating that we are evil due to being male. As I said earlier in the subject of abortion, if a woman was raped then obviously an abortion is wholly the decision of the female. But, if the child happened as an act of carelessness on both parties, then the man should have a say on whether the woman keeps the child or not. Historically it has been documented that a man can’t veto the decision to abort after a woman has already made the choice (obviously before the abortion has taken place). What is stopping the man from raising the child by himself?
A child is not going to trap a man, however if the man decides he wants to keep the child. Then what is stopping the woman from having this baby, and giving the child up to the father? Is this an option that has not occurred to the supreme court? Is a woman so obligated to raise a child after she gives birth; that there are simply no other alternatives? No! This is exactly what feminism should be about. Having the right to make a decision and be honored as any other human being deserves. It’s not simply about abortions though, it is about everything. Women should be equal to men because we are all human.
Believe me when I say, that I don’t believe in this entitlement (that the best answer was talking about). Speaking from experience it was my wife who asked me out when I was in college. I did not feel pressured to say yay or nay, but the fact that she asked me out, was a nice ego booster. You don’t have to reciprocate the feelings to feel flattered at that person having the courage to ask you out. Trust me it is hard enough to ask a person out on a date, it can be nerve-wracking since rejection does hurt. But, she had the courage to ask me out, and while I couldn’t go out at that time because of my untimely arrival date at boot camp. I made a promise to her that we’d go on a date when it was finished. This is how we ended up getting married. Third wave feminist, however tend to speak as if men were the enemies who never faced any adversity or stereotyping, but this is wrong. Men are expected to perform on very different, but equally as stressful fronts.
As a man, you are expected to be the provider for a family.
You are expected to never show emotion or weakness.
You are expected to be a killer/rapist/pedophile (see video).
You are expected to strive for being an alpha male constantly.
To enjoy things that are typically considered “manly” and shun anything girly.
To be tough or otherwise you are a “bitch”
We need to change people, our mentalities need to be altered. As I have always said in this blog. The only way we’ll execute some true change is if we band together. It is unjustifiable to stay in this cloud of ignorance that permeates our society. We need to evolve and realize that a victim mentality hurts everyone, and does not help our causes. If we are to evolve then equality must succeed, but it must be true equity. There must not be anyone who stands on top of anybody simply because of their gender. We are all brothers and sisters. Let’s start acting like it.
PREACH IT PAULA!