#BernieLostMe Hijacked by American Pirates

 

A new hashtag is trending the world of Twitter. #BernieLostMe a smear campaign clearly designed by the wicked witch of the west, Hillary Clinton, to demoralize the avid fanatics of Bernie Sanders is currently trending with hundreds of thousands of retweets. It originally started as a way to criticize Sanders without fear of reprisal, but quickly devolved into an online fight starring Bernie pirates and Hillary ninjas. It was all a painfully slow process before the pirates arrived with people misquoting and creating “facts” about Sanders that simply aren’t truth. Free stuff they would yell as they patted each other in the backs for being smart republicans especially the Hillary ninjas who disguise themselves as democrats by day, but at night by moderates.  They would party and celebrate in their attempts to dismiss the legitimate threat which Bernie Sanders presented to their very fragile world view. BernieLostMe

But, the Bernie pirates were sailing the seven seas of the ocean that is the internet scouring for dangers coming from all angles. They searched high and low, up and down, left and right, and even in that dead sea we call Google+ for any threats that might have loomed on the horizon until finally they found the source of noise in the ocean. It was a hashtag with the name #BernieLostMe most likely created by troll ninjas wanting to create waves in their time of boredom. The pirates prepared for combat they all manned the rails, cannons and even the sails for combat maneuvers that would impress the saltiest of captains. They waited expectantly at the helm until they were within range and with the sound of a fire the fired their cannons at the ninja party. The ninjas prepared back with weapons of their own and in a blaze of glory the Pirates they laughed at the storm of giggles that were meant to be had.

The pirates stood strong in anger they yelled, ‘you shall never stop us, we’ll never be quelled’. The shots filled with honesty, and fury towards the establishment who took all the rights away from the masses. They fought into the dead of the night as both parties lost brave souls who fought in their beliefs, but as the moon shone the brightest the fight had calmed down. The fight might have ended a stalemate, but the pirates were emboldened by their struggle. Together we fight or together we die, it’s Bernie or bust no matter the cost, we believe in his values and won’t compromise. We shall see this fight to the end and even then we’ll carry on his struggle in our souls, inspired by the man who dared to challenge the status quo we shall build a future that cares for one and all. In the end they managed to hijacked the hashtag with polarizing tactics. They turned the negative into a positive and used humor and sarcasm. Their comments were witting and so full of laughter, in spite of a few that were hostile and savage. No lives were lost that day, but the struggle continues, to fight for their beliefs in this ocean of turds which we call American politics.

The ninjas are afraid to create any waves for fear that a fecal tsunami will flood their shores, but the pirates know that change never happens without a few sacrifices. ‘The revolution will happen’ could be heard in the wind that night, as those buccaneers left the shore with their prize. A stormy night of laughter and anger, with people from both side inciting one another. It was a long battle and a fun one at that, but the pirates must rest for now it is late. It is time to rest our weary spirits my mateys, for tomorrow shall rise on the bright and early.

We all had our fun now go back to sleep you crazy Americans who enjoy a good tweet. It was fun to fight, but much funner to laugh and I met some good people in spite of our sides. In the end of the day your beliefs are yours and you’re entitled to believe in what you choose. The fight is never ending and no matter who wins, we’re all screwed regardless since we are just sheep. In the grand scheme of things nobody matters since the super delegates will make this their own election. Fight as we might the establishment calls for a revolution. A civil war will erupt and many shall die. But, in the remains a new flag shall fly, until then we can all sit back and watch as the ruins of our once great country lay in the fields of a grand war…

 

*Disclaimer

 

The pictures in this article belong to their respective owners.

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Study Reveals an Increase of Flying Turtles on Highways in United States

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A recent study performed by The University of Florida University College has been tracking an unusual increase in vehicular accidents with the latest one happening on the I-4 highway in Orlando Florida. The study was trying to determine whether a correlation on the effects between climate change and turtle migration patterns. The lead scientist performing this study has cited “An Inconvenient Truth” as the inspiration behind the project and has been researching the subject for close to a decade. The results are said to be “remarkable” by one researcher named Ignatius Michael Seaman.

The research involved tracking the number of incidents over the years and changes in climate. Head researcher Thomas Alexander Males (pronounced Mah-Less) said he noticed an unusual trend in drying lakes and other turtle friendly habitats which lead to an increase in migration. Due to the higher numbers of migrating reptilians the number of car accidents involving these reptilians has naturally increased. The accident have happened for a multitude of reasons including turtles being sent flying after being passed over by vehicles or drivers causing vehicular accidents by virtue of dodging the poor animals. But, due to this unusual reptilian activity Mr. Males has stated he had grounds for a solid thesis.

The thesis proposed by Mr. Males has stated the following: Turtle migration patterns have been affected by climate change due to the decrease in hospitable habitats caused by the overall increase of temperature on parts in the United States. This change in migration patterns has caused an overall increment in turtle related incidents in the southern states like California and Florida where turtles are commonly found among the fauna. My study seeks to confirm or deny whether a correlation between climate changes and turtle migrations which could affect the number of vehicular accidents involving the fauna of each State exists.

The study has also been supported by other studies which have tried to correlate the increase of turtle casualties in states that have had changes in habitat. Thus far the research of Mr. Males and his team has yielded very positive results and they awaiting the following few months to announce their results to the world. But, the researches do warn to watch out for flying reptiles that could be heading your way.

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You can find more information on this topic at the following links:

http://www.lakejacksonturtles.org/accident.htm

http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/wildlife_roads/facts/turtles_highways_crossing.html

http://www.lakejacksonturtles.org/accident.htm

https://blogs.umass.edu/natsci397a-eross/an-answer-to-vehicle-caused-turtle-fatalities-in-florida/

http://www.jstor.org/stable/3803725

http://www.wesh.com/news/turtle-goes-airborne-crashes-through-windshield-on-i4/39532102

 

Disclaimer:

Thank you for reading and hopefully you enjoyed this article as much as I enjoyed writing it. The images attached belong to their respective owners and the original link to the pictures can be found above. This article is a work of fiction and meant to be take with a grain of salt.

 

 

The Land of the Free, and Home of the Brave

America the so-called land of the free. But, isn’t that an ironic name for the land with the largest population of prison inmates? A land where you are free to be yourself as long as it fits “my” definition of what is normal. These definitions which are based on: bias, prejudice, obsolete laws, and an outdated book. A place where being offended by topics such as sex-ed, rape, victimization are enough to claim harassment or even sentence another to jail. We call ourselves, America the land of the free and home of the brave, but are we truly so?

I say no, we are instead America the home of the victims. Where the media and social justice warriors control the masses. A land that preaches equality as long as it favors the individual instead of benefiting the whole. Where misinformation is spread as facts, and used as a shield for controversy.  Where the life of an animal is considered more important than the lives of our brothers and sisters in Africa who endure countless losses at the hands of these beasts.  Where fear is our king and money is our god; only those with affluence matter. We call ourselves the home of freedom, yet fail to realize that we are still enslaved.

We are enslaved to oppression. We live chasing a dream that ceased to be real many moons ago. We break our backs for those who don’t care about the circumstance of our plight. We sell our souls, values, and self-worth in order to please those who could not care less about your life. We place a higher emphasis on appearances than we do on self-fulfillment. The land where you can pretend to be rich, as long as you can pay your credit-card bill. It doesn’t matter if you spend the rest of your lives paying for the son of a rich banker’s college tuition as far as it is done in monthly installments of minimum payments.

This is the land where the rich hate the poor, the poor hates the rich, and those in between are hated by all. Where the middle class pays for the wages of both rich and poor with nary an opportunity to move ahead in life. Get an education they say, but with tuition prices these days you’ll be enslaving yourself once more. Jealousy is the law of the land, if you’re not green with envy then you are wrong. Where a credit score and history are akin to your worth as a human being, and three companies can dictate whether the house you always dreamed of is a reality or a fantasy. A million is a statistic they say, but the word of one person is enough to lead another towards ruination. Yet, the plights of many go unheard everyday. The brothers and sisters we have overseas are hated because they represent a cause we do not agree with. They live their lives in fear from a world that doesn’t care, yet we are free to do so. However, as a brilliant man once said “with great power, comes great responsibility”. Yet, we shun our responsibility in favor of causes that hold no bearing towards the greater good.

America is stuck. Stuck in a state of falsehood where the voices of those who are trying to once again awaken the sleeping giant which was once feared and respected throughout the world are silenced by a multitude of sheep. Those who go against the norm are treated as outcast in a society that once claimed pride in its diversity. Where you could make it big as long as you were willing to work for it. But, that’s not the reality we live in. We live in the America that has fallen from the pedestal, that is considered a laughing-stock around the world for their  antiquated education systems, and war mongering ways. We live in the America that has become complacent, and lazy.

But, there is still hope for America. We are down, but we are not out of the fight just yet. We can once again rise to the top, and become a nation worthy of its self-proclaimed status as home of the brave. An America that is intellectually forward, which is inclusive to all in need. The America that his citizens need, but it can’t do it alone. We the people need to step in and help. We need to pull our weight in order to make everything that has gone wrong with our country right once again. At this time we the people need to put aside our differences as we did in 9/11, and join arms as brothers as sisters once more. We are not each others enemies. We are in fact our greatest potential allies, yet we need to set our differences aside to find the middle-ground, and compromise in order to finally fulfill the needs of the many, instead of the sensitivities of the few. As humans we are born with limitless potential, but we squander it in frivolous things. It is time that we took ownership of our lives, and live up to the responsibilities that our power truly brings. When we break from those chains of ignorance that bind us, then we shall be truly free.

Only then, can we once again be proud to call ourselves  “The Land of The Free, and The Home of the Brave”

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**This blog is copyright of the author**