New Study Discovers Japanese Men More Likely to Cheat if Married or in a Relationship

Cheating

A new survey has surfaced in the land of the rising sun, Japan. This study performed by the Menjoy magazine was aimed at finding whether Japanese men would cheat on their spouses on the condition that they wouldn’t be caught .  The survey utilized a rather small sample size of 50 willing participants. But, the results demonstrated that a majority of Japanese men would in fact cheat on their partners if they had the opportunity.  When taking a closer look upon the responses provided by the participants the results were not uncommon.

At times the participants mentioned that their significant other stopped caring or having sexual contact with them after marriage, but a lover would have no problems with these encounters and as such happily provides the services needed for romance/sex. ‘A new marriage can seem bright and exciting, but once you’ve been married for a few years things start getting dull’ was a quote spoken by “Kentaro Sakamoto” from the Chiba Prefecture in Tokyo (one of the survey participants).  He also indicated that if he had not been in a relationship at the time he wouldn’t have been tempted to cheat.  A different participant, whose named he preferred to keep undisclosed, mentioned that if he weren’t in a relationship he wouldn’t be tempted by women who are jealous of his current significant other.  He said “ever since I became married, women in my office can’t seem to stop inviting me over to their apartments for tea”.

We can obviously tell from this information that the only reason people are cheating on each other are because they get into relationships. Relationships are great, they are a breath of fresh air and meeting new people can be an amazing experience, but they obviously lead to dangerous things such a cheating and sexually transmitted infections. Especially when you’ve been with someone for so long that they become boring and dull. People become comfortable around each other and suddenly the relationship slows down and this leads people into the arms of another who probably has herpes. The sad part is we know for a fact that this kind of events happen and we still choose to follow outdated traditions such as marriage.

It’s clear as day that if Japanese men were not forming deep emotional bonds with other individuals they wouldn’t be tempted to cheat. Japanese women wouldn’t be seeking men in relationships because none of them would have one. Thus the whole society would have an even playing field in the field of romance, and if children happen  there is still no reason for marriage, after all studies have shown that as long as both parents are involved in the child rearing the kids will be just fine. As long as both parties can agree on the custodial terms there shall be no problems.

Besides relationships cost time and money, both of which could be utilized towards improving the lives of their increasingly large populace of seniors. Certainly the country whose dwindling birth rates have been decreasing exponentially could see no benefit from partaking in such frivolities. Instead they could put their efforts in building synthetic human beings which will eventually replace us all.  I for one will welcome with open arms our new robotic overlords.

There you have it folks, the number one reason for cheating is starting a relationship. Why would you ever just use one car for your entire life when you could test drive all of them? It’s not cheating after all if there is no emotional attachment.  As we all know emotions are for losers who can’t have affairs and those are all the rage these day.

But, remember if you’re still keen on starting a relationship try having a polyamorous one. It’s not cheating if you’re both loving the same people and it can keep the spark of romance alive for generations to come.

 

 

Sources:

https://www.city-cost.com/blogs/City-Cost-News/zD8Yz

「彼女に絶対バレないんだったら浮気しちゃう?」意外すぎる結果…

https://forum.gaijinpot.com/forum/living-in-japan/relationships/79254-what-i-ve-learned-after-being-cheated-twice-by-japanese-girls

 

***Disclaimer***

 

As always the pictures utilized in this article belong to their respective owner, and the only thing that belongs to me is the article itself. I hope you guys know this is a work of snark and humor and not meant to be taken at face value.

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The Fear of Rejection.

It seems that people often have great ideas which never come to fruition. When we want to create something, whether it be a blog, book, or a series of YouTube videos, one thing can often stand in our way and it is called fear. There are several manifestations of fear ( for example: social anxiety or humiliating yourself), but most amount to the same one, the fear of rejection. We are social creatures that seek the approval of our peers and thus,  take rejection especially hard. At times, our fear of trying is the only reason for which great creations are never born.

This is, however, a terrible inhibitor for us as individuals. It is horrible because at times we fail to realize that people will hate us in spite of everything we do. We have to accept that hate is a regular part of our everyday lives, and it can’t be avoided unless you simply have no opinion of your own (and even then people will still despise you for having no particular viewpoint). The faster we accept this reality, and come to terms with the fact that no one is entitled to being universally adored, the quicker we will understand that the only choice left is to try your hardest at life despite the hatred.

Hatred is a powerful tool utilized by others, but the worst part comes from when the hate is being ushered by those which aren’t attempting half of what you are. It is a measure of control which leads to nobody’s happiness; not even those which revel in hate are truly enjoying themselves, they are miserable and as we know, it simply loves company.  Worst of all, the capacity of people to spread hate is nearly limitless, if left uncontrolled then it will lead to ruin. But, we can rise above it all, even if the extent of hatred is unmeasurable, we can’t let it inhibit our attempts at greatness.

The greatest gift you can give yourself is the chance to try. To give a shot to those things which are ideas simply waiting to be developed into fantastic pieces of art and love.  Great creations which might not start out as what they will eventually become, but at least were given a fair attempt. No person starts out being great at what they do, oftentimes the only thing we need is luck and the patience to develop our skills. Given time our skills will blossom into the beautiful flowers they were destined to become. But, this won’t happen if you give into the fear of rejection. The fear of being criticized for trying out your best at something which you aren’t particularly skilled at, but will certainly improve in.

Remember to take this criticism with a grain of salt, it can be a powerful tool (use it to the full extent of your ability). Criticism can be the wake-up call required to motivate yourself at being a better person. If you take the good with the bad and accept that perhaps some of the people are inadvertently motivating you to improve (trust me, they do not have your best interest at heart), then you will gain another opportunity at becoming even greater.  At times the critiques can appear overly harsh (I know this all too well), and even hurtful, but you can’t let this bring you down. Keep fighting those battles until you eventually reach your own final boss. It is at that moment in which you’ll realize that it was all truly worth the effort, even if you sacrificed a lot on your way there.

Don’t let the fear of rejection become the only reason for which your ideas never blossomed, for at the end of the road you’ll only have yourself to blame…

Amiibo, and the Pursuit of Goals!

I finally completed my Super Smash Brothers Amiibo collection! It took me a year and a move across the world, but I finally succeeded in getting all the currently available characters, plus a few others. When I opened my presents up this Christmas, it turned out that my wife had purchased the last remaining few. So I quickly arranged them and took pictures in order to share my (small) achievement with the internet/fellow collectors. I quickly realized that this had been a grave mistake.

I want to clarify that, it was not a mistake to have collected the Amiibo. What was a mistake was giving more credit to the internet in regards to their reaction. The people in Reddit for the most part were supportive, and cheerful about the success in the collection. A few of them shared their own stories and collections, which were equally as impressive, others, however were not as “kind”. If you read the comments in the link found below this paragraph, then you’ll quickly understand why I believe it was a mistake to have shared the pictures.

I wasn’t quite sure how to take it personally, since I’m proud of the effort that was put forth in collecting these figurines, regardless of others. But, it never ceases to amaze me. It often appears that the internet has a limitless capacity to shit over the things that make other individuals happy. The internet will spill copious amounts of bile, in order to demotivate others from being happy/proud. This shouldn’t be the way we are, but it seems that as long as the GIFT exists, people will use the anonymity provided by the web, in order to spread animosity. It doesn’t matter whether their words are taken seriously or not, the point is that by commenting negatively on what you’ve achieved they felt superior, and that is fine if it’s what makes them happy. But, don’t let this negativity define you as a person. Don’t let the words of others define what ultimately makes you a better individual.

The reason, why I write this is because I want everyone to remember that regardless of what anyone says or writes you should remember the reason why you pursued an objective. This objective could be anything, from the smallest personal achievement or something that will change the world. One small achievement can be the door to greater ones in your future, and I believe that by completing the goals which we set for ourselves, we slowly learn the importance of dedication. This is because as human beings, we like the feeling of immediate gratification; however, this is not often attainable. Instead of pursuing goals which take vast amounts of effort in order to yield rewards; we seek activities which give us instant gratification even if it’s of lesser value than larger more difficult goals.

To collect these “toys” it took me 2 long years of hunting at different stores, waiting in line for pre-orders, and moving to Japan in order to complete it. It’s no wonder I’m going to be proud of it because I was able to see it through to the end. It might not be important to anyone else, but to me it has a deeper meaning. It represents the potential amount of tenacity that I can have when I put my best foot forward. Thanks to the efforts that were placed on collecting these, I have shown myself that I am indeed capable of seeing things through to the end.

This was something that had weighed heavily on my mind, for a long time. I always felt like most of the things I begin are never finished. But, thanks to this collection; I have shown myself, that goals can be achieved if you’re willing to put the actual time and effort into execution. So don’t let the words of others on the internet bring you down, people will try to bring you to their level countless times, but you have to stick through with your goals. Criticism is fine if it’s constructive, I have gotten bashed countless times for my grammatical errors in this blog (but, they have no idea; how much I appreciate the bashing since it motivates me to improve), and, yet I continue to write in it. The world shall never be a kinder place, but we can make it better for ourselves if we actually strive for that goal. Success is never easy, so make sure that you remember the steps you took in order to achieve it.

The Struggle of a Parent in the Military.

I have been serving in the military for seven years as of June. During these arduous years, I have experienced many new things including: deployments, marriage, disasters, parenthood, and unpaid overtime. To me however, nothing has been greater or more challenging than being a father. My son is two years old now, and I have been through hell and back for him. I was there when a mountain caught fire, and we had to evacuate the house because of the smoke cloud encompassing the base. I was there, when we ran out of breast milk, and I had to learn how to feed him formula without having it regurgitated back at me. When he missed his mother (who was out on a drill weekend with her unit), and wouldn’t stop crying for hours (despite comforting him in my arms the entire time). When I fell asleep standing up (we learn to do this in boot camp) because he didn’t want me to sit down while falling asleep. I don’t need to specify how much I adore this sweet child of mine. He is my biggest joy in life, and I would do anything in my power to protect him (which includes working in a job I hate).

The biggest challenge comes from discerning when it is appropriate to discipline my child, or if I truly want to do it. You see as a military father, deployment is too much of a constant weight in your mind. If you’re constantly disciplining your child, and acting as an authoritative figure, then you face alienating their feelings. If you consider the fact that you’re gone for a great part of his life, and the only memories they carry are negative; why would the child want you at home?This is something that I fear terribly. I don’t want my son to think of me as the absentee father who was off fighting wars, while his child was at home dreading his return. I want my child to know that I’m his father, friend, and a confidante. But, often time the lines are blurred because if we don’t teach our children discipline then they risk becoming military (spoiled) brats. These are the children around base who cause mayhem. In my base we’ve had breaking and entering, larceny, burglary, one kid even entered a car to smoke weed in there (I have no idea what the goal was, it was in a police report).

This is what I imagine he was doing (image belongs to the original owner)
This is what I imagine he was doing (image belongs to the original owner)

But, military (spoiled) brats are the source of a bigger problem which has not been fully addressed yet. Military families need to discipline their children because if the parents don’t do it, then the law will. If the law has to get involved with military dependents, the service member will lose base housing privileges, and even career wise repercussions such as loss of rank. They say kids will be kids, but at what point does that stop being a justification? We can’t continue avoiding the issue, believing our children are good kids all the time because we were children at one point ourselves (we know what we did!). It’s unfair to expect our children to be any different, but we are held to a higher standard (which is sometimes unachievable), and this causes even more rifts in families.  Its one (of the many) reasons why divorce rate is so high among military couples despite being 1% of the population.

All of these factors also take a huge toll in the mind of a developing human being. Children are very vulnerable to the struggles faced in the military, and a such many of them rebel in the small ways they can. Could it be a cry for attention? It appears like this is a struggle shared by many members, and does not look as if it will change any time soon. The problems I listed earlier are so common that they’ve appeared in every base I’ve been to during my career. You also learn a couple of stories from members who were military brats, and are now in the service (if anyone has any curiosity feel free to ask me). But there are some good news; the military has a lot of programs to help out new parents, my branch in particular has a family support center that holds training for new parents such as boot camp for dads (in which I have been the veteran father for the last two years). Mothers have a support group, which even teaches them about breastfeeding.  This is only a step in the right direction because it seems like despite the military hosting programs for new parents, they forget that parenting is constantly evolving. They must implement other programs to help not just stop troubled children, but actively  teach parents different ways to educate children in order to prevent these kind of situations. We are often quick to point fingers at parents, call them names, and even insult their parenting style, but we often forget that parenting has many different structures.

As Military members we live in a very specific type of structured environment, and while rules aren’t often as clear as we would hope. We often carry that structure into our home lives. We hope that the structure, and discipline will be good for children, but instead we teach them to conform. To follow the needs of the many, when in reality this is very damaging to their (children) psychological health. We are sub-consciously taught to follow the crowd, but then to say no, when it’s bad? Can anyone else see the contradiction here? How does a child discern what is good or bad when they are taught that the majority is right (and the complainer is always wrong)? What works for us as adults will not always work for children. It is our job to educate ourselves in raising children. But, we’re too tired/busy/per-occupied (pick one) to do this, and with good reason. The life of a military member (and spouse) is never easy. We face challenges that many others will never see in their lives, and that takes an enormous toll on our health (and mental) well-being. How can anyone expect us, to handle every minute detail with perfection? We are as human as everybody else, which is why we don’t expect to be treated differently when we go out in uniform.  So why are our kids expected to be better behaved than any other child?

In Africa they say it takes a village to raise a child. I think they have the right idea, we should help shape children even if they aren’t ours. How many times have you seen a child throw a tantrum at the store (or an airplane)  and looked at the parents with despect? Being a father has taught me, that even if my child doesn’t do those behaviors, I shouldn’t judge others. I simply don’t know enough of their situation. Perhaps that person doesn’t have the privileges that I do. I refuse to dehumanize people for the actions of their children. This isn’t perfect thought and even though I try not to judge, it does happen. Parenting is simply not easy, it doesn’t come with a manual, and it’s very easy to lose your temper when a child’s cry is designed to trigger emotional responses. I’m afraid that sometimes I lose my temper, and hurt my son’s feelings, and this crushes my spirit. This is the reason why I wrote this article.

Yesterday, while my wife and I were packing for our transfer, Leo was playing around. At this point it was almost 11pm and we had a truly long day (trying to pack important items, sell our vehicle, what we would eat, checking out of my command) and it was emotionally/physically draining. He should have been in bed already, but instead he was running around, and in one moment of weakness, while my wife and I were speaking he started trying to get our attention. While it was fairly easy to explain to him the first time that we were talking, he progressively got louder and more demanding. This is when I lost my temper and grabbed him by the wrist, and said (in a harsh tone) “Leo! We are talking!”. The look of anger/sadness on his face just tore me apart. I couldn’t stand what I did (as simple as it was). This might seem silly to other, but I hate raising my voice at him, yet its unavoidable at times. My wife soothed him, while he went through the emotions of the moment. She also recognized that it distressed me, and said “it’s all right, he needs to receive discipline at times”, but that’s not how I want my child to see me.  I often wonder if this is what goes through the mind of every parent, when they discipline their child… and it is heart-wrenching. Especially considering the agreement that my wife and I made when he was in her womb.

You see, my wife and I decided from a start that she would be the authoritative figure because she would spend the largest amount of time with him. Thanks to this agreement, I get to enjoy spoiling my son every so often.  I want to make the time he spends with me very qualitative in order to ensure that my returns are positively anticipated. I want to be his best friend because unlike most children in the U.S. long-term bonds aren’t very possible. So I want his constant to be that dad will be there for him no matter what happens. But, that’s not possible… No matter what will happen, I am his father, and just like my wife have to be there to guide him in making correct decisions. If this means punishment, and discipline then that will have to do. Parents have possibly the hardest job in the world. To ensure that the next generation of human beings is better than the previous one. But, without clear-cut instructions we are often left aimlessly stumbling upon every pitfall we encounter. This is why I apologize to children everywhere for all our shortcomings as parents and I have this to say.

Leo you are my biggest source of pride and joy. You are the sunshine that brightens my every morning while I go to work. You make my life sweeter by simply existing, and I couldn’t possibly adore you any more than I do already. I’m sorry for my mistakes, my temper, the times I couldn’t play with you, the times I had to be strict, those moments where I had to discipline you, and those months I couldn’t see you because of deployment. They are events that I won’t be able to ever take back. But, know that I did them all because of you. Because I was willing to sacrifice every bit of happiness in my life in order to ensure your safety. But, mostly because I wanted to ensure that one day you would grow up to be a respectable adult, worthy of every positive aspect in your life. It tears me apart to see you upset, and I’m sure one day you’ll understand the reasons for my behavior. I want you to remember that father loves you with all his heart, and that will never change for any reason in the world.

Baby
I love you!