#BernieLostMe Hijacked by American Pirates

 

A new hashtag is trending the world of Twitter. #BernieLostMe a smear campaign clearly designed by the wicked witch of the west, Hillary Clinton, to demoralize the avid fanatics of Bernie Sanders is currently trending with hundreds of thousands of retweets. It originally started as a way to criticize Sanders without fear of reprisal, but quickly devolved into an online fight starring Bernie pirates and Hillary ninjas. It was all a painfully slow process before the pirates arrived with people misquoting and creating “facts” about Sanders that simply aren’t truth. Free stuff they would yell as they patted each other in the backs for being smart republicans especially the Hillary ninjas who disguise themselves as democrats by day, but at night by moderates.  They would party and celebrate in their attempts to dismiss the legitimate threat which Bernie Sanders presented to their very fragile world view. BernieLostMe

But, the Bernie pirates were sailing the seven seas of the ocean that is the internet scouring for dangers coming from all angles. They searched high and low, up and down, left and right, and even in that dead sea we call Google+ for any threats that might have loomed on the horizon until finally they found the source of noise in the ocean. It was a hashtag with the name #BernieLostMe most likely created by troll ninjas wanting to create waves in their time of boredom. The pirates prepared for combat they all manned the rails, cannons and even the sails for combat maneuvers that would impress the saltiest of captains. They waited expectantly at the helm until they were within range and with the sound of a fire the fired their cannons at the ninja party. The ninjas prepared back with weapons of their own and in a blaze of glory the Pirates they laughed at the storm of giggles that were meant to be had.

The pirates stood strong in anger they yelled, ‘you shall never stop us, we’ll never be quelled’. The shots filled with honesty, and fury towards the establishment who took all the rights away from the masses. They fought into the dead of the night as both parties lost brave souls who fought in their beliefs, but as the moon shone the brightest the fight had calmed down. The fight might have ended a stalemate, but the pirates were emboldened by their struggle. Together we fight or together we die, it’s Bernie or bust no matter the cost, we believe in his values and won’t compromise. We shall see this fight to the end and even then we’ll carry on his struggle in our souls, inspired by the man who dared to challenge the status quo we shall build a future that cares for one and all. In the end they managed to hijacked the hashtag with polarizing tactics. They turned the negative into a positive and used humor and sarcasm. Their comments were witting and so full of laughter, in spite of a few that were hostile and savage. No lives were lost that day, but the struggle continues, to fight for their beliefs in this ocean of turds which we call American politics.

The ninjas are afraid to create any waves for fear that a fecal tsunami will flood their shores, but the pirates know that change never happens without a few sacrifices. ‘The revolution will happen’ could be heard in the wind that night, as those buccaneers left the shore with their prize. A stormy night of laughter and anger, with people from both side inciting one another. It was a long battle and a fun one at that, but the pirates must rest for now it is late. It is time to rest our weary spirits my mateys, for tomorrow shall rise on the bright and early.

We all had our fun now go back to sleep you crazy Americans who enjoy a good tweet. It was fun to fight, but much funner to laugh and I met some good people in spite of our sides. In the end of the day your beliefs are yours and you’re entitled to believe in what you choose. The fight is never ending and no matter who wins, we’re all screwed regardless since we are just sheep. In the grand scheme of things nobody matters since the super delegates will make this their own election. Fight as we might the establishment calls for a revolution. A civil war will erupt and many shall die. But, in the remains a new flag shall fly, until then we can all sit back and watch as the ruins of our once great country lay in the fields of a grand war…

 

*Disclaimer

 

The pictures in this article belong to their respective owners.

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American Citizens Favor Hillbilly Charlatan over Honest Politician

trumpacres

The year 2016 has been an eye opening experience for the world thanks to American politics. The overwhelming support that has been provided by American citizens towards Donald Trump, a man who confused 9/11 one of the biggest catastrophes in American history for 7/11, a franchise that has done more for diabetes than your local donut store, can be frankly astounding. This has left the rest of the world with an even larger negative view of America in general. However, what doesn’t come as a surprise is that the reasons for the support might actually be the disenchantment that is felt by the citizens of the United States towards the government establishment. As such, a hillbilly might seem to them as a viable choice for the leader of one of the greatest economic powers on earth.

It’s important to note that citizens of the United States have started realizing the fact that they have been taken advantage of by a system that could only be considered an oligarchy. Trust in the government is at an all-time low in the United States and only continues to decrease as time moves forward. A reason for this could be that major corporations have been lobbying in the government to take away the rights of citizens for close to a century only so they can deepen their own pockets. The citizens believe that by electing one of their own (a lobbyist) they will be disrupting the system from within and thus be creating what is tantamount to a black hole. If successful, the black hole created from this event will be so large that it will collapse unto itself and maybe take with it a couple of extra corporations along the way.

Sadly, this idea can be superfluous at best, when we take a closer look at everything that Donald Trump stands towards. This is a man who will say anything and everything to become elected, and half of the answers he provides could be considered nonsense to all, but his most loyal of followers; however Donald Trump still managed to secure the republican candidacy nonetheless.  Thus we must respect Donald Trump’s tenacity and survivability in this cutthroat world of politics at the least. One thing is certain, he is funding his campaign with his own money and as such we can’t say that he is in the pockets of big corporations because he is a corporation.

On the other side of the coin these same traits that are admired in Trump are the cause of scorn towards democratic nominee Senator Bernie Sanders, a man who has had close to 40 years of experience in Politics. Sanders surprisingly has no relation to the Colonel Sanders who parlayed in the business of chicken peddling and in fact denied it several times during various interviews is the representative for the state of Virginia. He has been fighting for the same rights and civil liberties that people of the United States deserve (but, have not fully obtained) for over three decades. Senator Sanders however is still trailing behind the other democratic nominee known only as the wicked witch of the west who instead represents the establishment. The odds seem stacked against him as more strange events regarding the primaries and caucuses continue to happen.

COlonel Sanders
Related? You be the judge.
Missing votes, closed voting establishments, known democratic voters mysteriously having their parties switch side, and failures to re-count when the masses are asking for them are all very large red flags in a system that has started to tear at the seams.  It seems that the United States government has finally started showing its true colors. ‘For the people by the people’ has been a myth propagated by the generations for centuries, but how true can that be when the country is ruled by those who have deep pockets and even deeper connections? In a world like this of course the hillbilly candidate can appear to be the logical choice because an honest politician is a paradox that can’t simply exists. The government is the enemy and  Sanders is viewed as the enemy of the establishment. Thus the establishment seeks to eliminate Sanders’ bid for presidency. Thus, it reinforces the American Citizens’ belief that their only hope lies in the other candidate who can’t be bought by money because his pockets are already filled, but they fail to realize that because Trump is one of them, he will still favor corporations.  There is no win for the United States only revolution is left. In a country that has slowly been taking away the rights of its citizens, only blood will reignite the flames of freedom. But, how long until the American people fight back? Who can tell?

witch-hillary
The Wicked Witch of The West
*Disclaimer

The pictures attached belong to their respective owners. This article is a work of satire and humor mixed with some serious observations. It is meant to be taken with a grain of salt.