A new hashtag is trending the world of Twitter. #BernieLostMe a smear campaign clearly designed by the wicked witch of the west, Hillary Clinton, to demoralize the avid fanatics of Bernie Sanders is currently trending with hundreds of thousands of retweets. It originally started as a way to criticize Sanders without fear of reprisal, but quickly devolved into an online fight starring Bernie pirates and Hillary ninjas. It was all a painfully slow process before the pirates arrived with people misquoting and creating “facts” about Sanders that simply aren’t truth. Free stuff they would yell as they patted each other in the backs for being smart republicans especially the Hillary ninjas who disguise themselves as democrats by day, but at night by moderates. They would party and celebrate in their attempts to dismiss the legitimate threat which Bernie Sanders presented to their very fragile world view.
But, the Bernie pirates were sailing the seven seas of the ocean that is the internet scouring for dangers coming from all angles. They searched high and low, up and down, left and right, and even in that dead sea we call Google+ for any threats that might have loomed on the horizon until finally they found the source of noise in the ocean. It was a hashtag with the name #BernieLostMe most likely created by troll ninjas wanting to create waves in their time of boredom. The pirates prepared for combat they all manned the rails, cannons and even the sails for combat maneuvers that would impress the saltiest of captains. They waited expectantly at the helm until they were within range and with the sound of a fire the fired their cannons at the ninja party. The ninjas prepared back with weapons of their own and in a blaze of glory the Pirates they laughed at the storm of giggles that were meant to be had.
The pirates stood strong in anger they yelled, ‘you shall never stop us, we’ll never be quelled’. The shots filled with honesty, and fury towards the establishment who took all the rights away from the masses. They fought into the dead of the night as both parties lost brave souls who fought in their beliefs, but as the moon shone the brightest the fight had calmed down. The fight might have ended a stalemate, but the pirates were emboldened by their struggle. Together we fight or together we die, it’s Bernie or bust no matter the cost, we believe in his values and won’t compromise. We shall see this fight to the end and even then we’ll carry on his struggle in our souls, inspired by the man who dared to challenge the status quo we shall build a future that cares for one and all. In the end they managed to hijacked the hashtag with polarizing tactics. They turned the negative into a positive and used humor and sarcasm. Their comments were witting and so full of laughter, in spite of a few that were hostile and savage. No lives were lost that day, but the struggle continues, to fight for their beliefs in this ocean of turds which we call American politics.
The ninjas are afraid to create any waves for fear that a fecal tsunami will flood their shores, but the pirates know that change never happens without a few sacrifices. ‘The revolution will happen’ could be heard in the wind that night, as those buccaneers left the shore with their prize. A stormy night of laughter and anger, with people from both side inciting one another. It was a long battle and a fun one at that, but the pirates must rest for now it is late. It is time to rest our weary spirits my mateys, for tomorrow shall rise on the bright and early.
We all had our fun now go back to sleep you crazy Americans who enjoy a good tweet. It was fun to fight, but much funner to laugh and I met some good people in spite of our sides. In the end of the day your beliefs are yours and you’re entitled to believe in what you choose. The fight is never ending and no matter who wins, we’re all screwed regardless since we are just sheep. In the grand scheme of things nobody matters since the super delegates will make this their own election. Fight as we might the establishment calls for a revolution. A civil war will erupt and many shall die. But, in the remains a new flag shall fly, until then we can all sit back and watch as the ruins of our once great country lay in the fields of a grand war…
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